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ttlst8
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Name: Erin
Birthday: 1/28/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: God, cuz he's awesome! Then, hanging with my amazing family, and chillin with my great friends! Dave and Mel would probably also claim that i do homework all the time, but can I help it that I'm a perfectionist about my schoolwork?? Newho, I love doing random church things and being with people!
Expertise: Hmmm, i don't really know.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  Ttlst8
MSN: erwin05@hotmail.com
Member Since:
8/27/2004
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| Ugh.
So tonight, my xanga becomes the place Tim talked about in a comment - my place to vent. sorry guys.
I'm just so confused. with everything. I'm so sick of QU. I'm so tired
of stupid Theology classes where I either doodle, correct my professor,
or just space out - where I don't take any notes and don't really do
anything. I know I don't know everything, I'm perfectly well
aware of that, but come on. for real. teach me something! my professor
keeps thinking everything is too abstract - it's not really that
abstract at all. I'm tired of having no time to further study Theology
stuffs (which, should I really have to if that's the whole point of me
getting a Theology degree? By learning nothing, am I not just wasting
my time??) because of history. I like history - but my classes seem
like sort of difficult - which is good, don't get me wrong, but I'm so
caught up in history that I have no time for Theology. I'm freaking out
about a degree that I am really only doing for supplimental knowledge.
does that make sense?
then there's my parents. oh parents. i love my parents, i have GREAT
parents. i just wish i could have a normal conversation with them. not
even them, just my dad. i have this feeling he's living vicariously
through me. and he wants me to stay in quincy forever. yeah, quincy is
kinda messed up, and they need help. and i know one person CAN do a
lot, but 1) is that person me? and 2) what is the better situation? me
hating college b/c i'm so stressed, almost puking or crying every night
cuz i'm so tired of it all. not enjoying college b/c i'm trying so hard
to do a good job and do what everyone expects of me and trying to turn
this university back into a Catholic Christian university. so many
promises have been made to me - oh things are changing. we've been
doing things since last semester. WHEN? HOW? where are the results of
these so called changes? there are none. but back to my parents. every
time i talk to my dad, it's not hey how you doin? it's like some huge
theological thing. i will never be able to have a normal conversation
with him until the day one of us dies. ever. i know he
cares, i really appreciate it that he cares. but tonight, he took it a
bit too far. maybe i'm not supposed to be at QU, maybe I am, i don't
know. but back off. UGH.
and i tried to remember your entry Josh. I tried to remember to take
criticism cuz someone needs to tell me. i tried to listen to what he
said and take it into consideration. but, i just don't know.
and I pray. i pray so much. but sometimes i just wonder why the crap
all this is happening. and it's ok. i know God will bring me through
it. i know i shouldn't complain. all this is is self pity. i'm sorry
all of you. just stop reading this. it's just me being woe is me.
this doesn't really make sense anyway.
i just wish . . .i dont' even know what i wish. sometimes i think i'll
just transfer again and it'll all go away. but a) it won't go away and
b) aren't i just running then? or should i stay here and be unhappy? or
am i just unhappy b/c i want to be unhappy? am i trying to be happy.
ugh.
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| "It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness. He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal."
- JPII | | |
| I'm SO sick of this.
All I see day in and day out is people bitching. All the time. I'm so tired, I'm so sick, I have too much work, I'm so depressed. You know what? Get over it. Cuz we're all tired, we're all sick, and you're being a freakin joke. Maybe you're not getting over it b/c you don't want to get over it. You want everyone to pity you and feel sorry for you. I know I complain too - lately I've been really stressed out. But that's ok. I sit, I pray, I move on. And I've been trying not to lay my burdens on everyone else. Lay your burdens on God ~ He's the only one who can give you the strength to make it through . . . | | |
| Today, I decided to present my thoughts to sister francis – my advisor - about the crappy crappy theology department here at school. I think I’m the only college student in existence who asks for more work. She said that her class is actually about to pick up (and that I’d leave everyone else in the dust –hahahaha – I laughed), and that she expects more out of my paper than in others. Also, I could kinda “copy” off of Benedictine – aka we’ll take their course ideas and make them into an independent study for me J. AND I am to look through the catalog, see what I want to take, and they’ll offer it. Basically – in a nutshell – they’ll give me more/harder work b/c I asked for it. I’m a geek, I know. I’ll still look into Benedictine, but this is a definite plus!
That's all i got. except i dropped band - sort of. i only go on wednesdays. YAY!!! | | |
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Where is my Catholic Study Bible??? 
WHERE??? who took it???? 
AHHHH!!!!! 
Anthony, What are you doing up there?????? 
ps - i'm staying at QU next year. 
